Teens: Do your parents think you are influenced more by your favorite musicians and movie stars than you actually are? Are your parents your greatest role models? Are your parents bad role models?
Parents and teens, use this post to discuss good and bad role models.
When I was in highschool I was a bit retro. I liked the popular music that was on the radio like Pearl Jam and Beastie Boys, but my favorite bands were the Doors and Led Zepplin. You'd think my parents would be more comfortable with me listening to that than the music of my generation, but after my discovered drug and alcohol use they weren't.
It probably is true that the rebirth of 60's and 70's psychodelic music directly corresponded with the rise in drug use when I was teenager, but did the music inspire the drug use or was that kind of music appealing to drug users? I can't remember if I drank and smoked before I starting listening to the Doors or if it was the other way around. I personally don't think it had an influence on my drug and alcohol abuse regardless of the order in which it happened.
I was however, completely star struck by Jim Morrison. I read books about his life as well as his collections of poetry. I liked the way he dressed, sang and performed. I guess because I drank and used drugs, I didn't fault him for doing the same. In fact I found his Dionysian life style cool. I used facts about his genius level IQ and what I thought was genius poetry to justify my admiration. He was my idol and the posters on my wall and the necklace around my neck proved it.
After my parents found out about my own little Dionysian lifestyle, my mother began to challenge my admiration for people like Morrison and Hendrix. I ranted off my usual facts and assumptions and compared my idols to more respectable artists and thinkers like Poe, Baudelaire and Nietzsche. I felt I had the upper hand on my mom, because after all I had practically memorized Morrison's life.
I haven't mentioned yet that my mom is a parenting genius. Rather than debate a biased teenager, she gave me a task. She had me compose a list of admirable and role model worthy traits of my idols. Oh yeah, she was good. I began writing my list by staring at a sheet of paper for twenty minutes. What at first I thought would be easy, turned out to be really difficult. I had my usual facts about artistic ability and IQ, but I knew those really weren't role model quality or mom worthy. I had to come up with something bullet proof, but I couldn't find it. Finally I gave my mom what I knew was a pitiful list for her to completely destroy. I knew I had lost the debate before she could open her mouth.
The task served its purpose. She had proven to me that just because someone is good at something, it doesn't mean they are worth idolizing. It didn't even require a lecture to explain. I had realized it while I was trying to come up with the stupid list. The lesson of that list could be useful to a lot of people young and old.
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